Relocating to NYC
Updated: May 1, 2020
I usually don't like opening up like this because I don't want people to think I am weak or looking for the wrong kind of attention. but honestly I know everybody goes through shit and I just want people to know that everything will be okay. Keep pushing and working towards becoming your best self and things will work out. Stay positive.
These last two years had been extremely extremely hard for me. I moved to Los Angeles to run away from all of my problems in hopes to start a new life. I tried so fuking hard to be happy. I had zero confidence in myself and I had no hope in myself. I had two different internships and graduated college while I was still living in California. While all of this was happening I became way too focused on social media and trying to make my life seem great and pretend that I was super happy all the time. I wasn't. Things in California actually got pretty bad. I am not going into specifics but I'm sure you all can guess. One day specifically was very bad and my dad immediately flew to LAX and drove 30 hours home with me and Sunny. I am beyond thankful that my family knows me well enough to know I was in trouble and needed help, because I was not in the right state of mind to understand what was going on.
When I moved back to Minnesota in March of 2019, I was still struggling. I felt like a failure. I felt like I was disappointing everybody. This wasn't true. My family just wanted me to be happy. My parents were doing everything to try to make me happy and we were all wondering why I still wasn't. I had to put in the effort MYSELF to be happy. So I went to the doctor. Got on anxiety meds and started going to therapy. I have no shame in this. I NEEDED help because of the trauma I have been through. I was diagnosed with PTSD and therapy really helped me understand the pain I dealt with.
Another thing that I changed in my life was getting rid of toxic people. You do not realize how much toxic people affect your life. I started losing weight, my skin cleared up, I gained my confidence back all because I got rid of that toxicity.
There was a point where I just started noticing that I was feeling better. The old Paige came back. The one that sings and dances around the kitchen and does handstands around the house. The Paige that is excited about life and ready to achieve her goals. I will no longer allow anybody to treat me bad. I will no longer settle. I am so much stronger now.
I cannot explain how thankful I am for my family for helping me and for my friends for staying my friends even when I wasn't myself. I am beyond blessed for the people in my life.
Anywho..... from March til November I had been working in MN and living at my parents so I could save all my money. I had wanted to move to New York since the first time I came here when I was 14. Exactly 10 years ago in August, and I had lived in the city the summer of 2016 and ABSOLUTELY loved it. I knew I wanted to move to NYC but I wanted it to be the right time. I wanted it to be when I was truly truly happy.
I recently found the perfect apartment and decided to move right when the new year started. I am not running from my problems anymore. I moved to NYC for ME. For no other reason but for me to accomplish my dreams and to be happy. I never thought it was possible to be this happy.
I am not kidding that everything went perfectly while moving. It was a sign that I am suppose to be here.
I decided to keep Sunny Bear in Minnesota to be with his other frenchie friends with my parents. He is so happy with Stella and Louis and I knew he would get lonely in my apartment while I am at work. I will miss him so much but I just want to do what is best for my baby.
So... currently I am looking for part time jobs so I can pay rent and finish my Master's Degree. If everything goes according to plan, I should graduate in August with my degree in fashion marketing.
A brand new start. A dream come true, in NYC!